The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship click this failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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