The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, click reference however the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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